Dating and cohabitation are two totally different things, especially the way things are set up nowadays. You have to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. In relationships you find yourself spending so much time at each others place that it gets to a point you start thinking- hey instead of paying for a place of my own I can just move in with my significant other and save money. Sounds like a good plan right, hmmm WRONG. I had a bad experience and I learned the hard way!
I’ve always had a place of my own since the age of nineteen. My partner had his own place as well and would always express that he wanted me to move in with him. I always agreed but in the back of my mind I had doubts. I always thought I shouldn’t give up my place in case things went wrong. I wanted to do a sort of a experiment and I told him I gave up my place (I lied). He immediately started showing his true colors. I taught him how to fill out money orders, pay bills, grocery shop, etc, while all he wanted to do was drive my car and give out orders. He even took MY CAR KEY & he placed it on HIS key ring. I didn’t say anything because I always kept a spare key in my wallet.
Every time we didn’t agree or I stood up for myself he became angry and always mentioned “U CAN GO BACK TO DETROIT” or where are you gonna go? I was hurt, I didn’t want to leave because I loved where we lived and he had so many personal issues growing up I figured he just needed to be loved and taught how to give and accept affection. As days went by even months things were getting worst. He always tried to be in competition with me, embarrassing me in front of his friends and even showed out at my place of employment. In my mind I was done I needed to plan my escape. Little did I know my escape plan was going to be revealed because not only was he being a disrespectful jerk he was a sneaky one.
He read some text messages from friends that I clearly stated I was unhappy. It totally caught me off guard when he repeated what I wrote after I got out the shower. I figured well he knows now so let me pack my things and go back home TO MY PLACE. That made him so angry he tried to fight me, stole money out my purse, and threw all my things out in the hallway. I didn’t argue or fight him back. I continued to get dressed and grabbed the rest of my belongings that he FORGOT to throw out. As I waited for the elevator with tears coming down my face, I noticed by the time I got to the lobby I was crying and laughing at the same time. I felt and looked like a crazy person. He thought he still had my key and would have to return for it. I looked in my wallet and there was the spare.
The moral of this story is if your not married and/or engaged soon to be married, you should not move in with your partner BUT IF YOU CAN’T WAIT ALWAYS ALWAYS have a backup plan or somewhere else to go.
Luckily for me I still had my apartment and I hopped on that freeway and headed to where he always said I can go back to….DETROIT !!